So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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