so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This baby is an asshole
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
