shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
