so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i drank out of a bidet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
