apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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