i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
