yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
