Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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