wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
