life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
