Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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