where's my purse there's an important taco in it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
