Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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