based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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