nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
