Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
