you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
