I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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