Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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