I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
