lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
