it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
