Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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