i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize