I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
