Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
