any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
