I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize