North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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