fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
