We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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