We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
