my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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