so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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