Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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