Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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