with your own penis?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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