There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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