he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
