yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
