just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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