i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
