fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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