He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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