I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
