I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
