Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
