i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
