he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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