your room smells of hookers.
And success
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
