Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wear drunk well.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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