I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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