sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
