dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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