i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i dont even know how to be here
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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