I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it đ
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
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