Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
