He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
