well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
