she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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