when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
