this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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