So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
