if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
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Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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