In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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