All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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