If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
