the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
