Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
