she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
