I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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